


Lost in the Moment

by TheHangedMan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 08:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4821596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHangedMan/pseuds/TheHangedMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The cage is the world, Sasaki Haise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in the Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Finally a legit G rated fic, thanks Rory

Sasaki backed up against the wall; his back pressing up against the ornate wall paper just missing a lovely side table. It really would have been a disaster if he had bumped and knocked over a very expensive looking glass vase and its fresh bouquet of roses.

Roses.

This entire house was filled with them. Well, mansion he should say. The furnishings, the architecture, the atmosphere. Even the man before him, pressing him into the wall with little regard for personal space reminded him of the lovely red flower. He almost seemed to be part of the house as much as any tapestry or loveseat. All of his clothing was absolutely ostentatious, much like his brash mannerisms. He was bold to have pushed past Sasaki’s boundaries so quickly.

He must have been close to Kaneki before, Sasaki assumed. There was no other explanation for it.

The strong aroma of roses filled his nose. The faint scent of blood accompanied it. 

Hands cupped his wet cheeks and he shivered as the soft pads of Tsukiyama Shuu’s thumbs wiped away a tear. “Why are you crying?” The man asked, looking genuinely concerned. He was far too close, his nose just inches away from Sasaki’s.

It was hard to believe Kaneki had ever know a man this handsome.

His purple eyes narrowed slightly, flaunting long lashes. Who had he been to make a friend such as this? Or perhaps... more than a friend?

Despite Sasaki’s normal straightforward attitude, he felt his speech stutter, “I’m sorry, I lost myself in the moment…” And he had, it wasn’t a lie. He knew when he’d asked to accompany this man back to his home that he was getting in over his head. However, he had not expected such a strong revelation. 

Before entering the house, Tsukiyama had warned him that even Kaneki had not been inside. If he was looking for something to trigger his memory he would not likely find it in there. Sasaki had insisted regardless. As expected, he had discovered nothing aside from a very strong sinking feeling that this man was somehow linked to the Rose case. It wasn’t like this family was trying to hide anything….

Then, as Tsukiyama led him further in, toward where they currently stood, he felt the hot liquid begin to bubble up in his eyes for the second time that day as another creeping suspicion overtook him. 

He was not Kaneki.

This person, this ghoul, had let him into his house believing him to be something that he was not. He was a cage, the real Kaneki lived inside him while he walked around wearing his face and controlling his body. He, Sasaki Haise, was trying to remember a life that wasn’t his to remember. There was no harmonious solution where the two of them could live peacefully together. It was one or the other, kill or be killed.

The emptiness of that thought struck him like a blow to the chest.

That, more or less, was how he found himself in this situation.

“I see. I am a victim of the moment as well,” Tsukiyama murmured, stroking his cheek far longer than was necessary. 

Sasaki felt his eyes wander to Tsukiyama’s mouth and he swallowed hard. His lips were so close to his face and he couldn’t help but think how nice they would feel pressed against his…

“So were you and Kaneki close?” He asked, quickly forcing his focus back to Tsukiyama’s eyes. He had a nice face, a little gaunt with bags hanging heavily under his eyes, but his features were strong and handsome none the less. 

Tsukiyama froze for a moment as if realizing what he was doing and removed his hand, “I’m sorry, I must have crossed a line. I often found myself doing that with you before,” He laughed absolutely musically, “I suppose I half expected you to push me away…” His gaze faltered and he looked away, “I apologize.”

“It’s alright,” Sasaki found it easier to breath now that the intense stare was off of him. He straightened himself out hastily. “Actually, I should apologize. I came here thinking that Kaneki and I were one in the same and I feel like I have been wrong this entire time. I’ve been wasting your time trying to get to know you.” 

“Ah, I assure you! You have not. I have not been getting outside much as of late, this had been good for me. I have nothing but free time on my hands.” An attempt to diffuse the heavy atmosphere.

Sasaki shook his head, “That’s not what I meant exactly.”

He stopped talking and hesitated to continue for a moment, not certain if this was the right time.

Tsukiyama stared at him quizzically. His feet shuffled in place. “What did you mean then?”

This was an uncomfortable situation. 

Sasaki decided to continue.

“I’m sorry for taking your precious person away from you. It must be sad seeing-” his voice wavered and a second wave of tears dripped down his face. 

Not again. He stopped to compose himself.

“Sasaki…”

He started again, “It must be sad seeing a fake masquerading around as him.” He wiped his eyes with the corner of his sleeve. “I’m sorry for the heartache I may have caused you, I should go.”

Before he could make so much as a move to leave, arms encircled him and pulled him into Tsukiyama’s chest. He froze, feeling small against him, his face only going up to Tsukiyama’s neck. 

“I suppose I agreed to let you come here believing that you were simply Kaneki who had forgotten who you were.”

Sasaki relaxed into him, slightly breathing deeply into his shoulder.The smell of roses and sandalwood filled his nose.

“To hear that you are a separate person entirely... I don’t care who you are, Sasaki or Kaneki, you are still my precious person.”

At that, Sasaki’s throat tightened. No, that’s not what he had expected. 

A loud sob wracked against Sasaki’s slight frame and he grabbed the back of Tsukiyama’s shirt, feeling like a child. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He buried his face into Tsukiyama’s shoulder crying loudly into it. “I’m just an empty person.”

A hand ran through his hair affectionately and a soft “there, there” could just be heard through the wails. 

Sasaki looked up pathetically, trying to find a hint of anger in Tsukiyama’s eyes. Instead those soft lips pressed against his in a surprising, but not unwelcome, kiss. He closed his eyes, pushing back against them, feeling his chest tighten as a strong feeling of guilt overtook him. This wasn’t his person to kiss, but he did it anyway. His arms tightened around Tsukiyama’s waist.

 

~  
Tsukiyama pulled away for a moment, his breath hot on Sasaki’s face. “Although, I do believe you are wrong. I know you feel lost, I want to help you. You are my moon and my stars and I feel like I’ve been given a second chance.” 

Not knowing how to respond to that, Sasaki looked down away from the all too direct eye contact. He felt red-hot embarrassment creep up on his cheeks. He really shouldn’t have kissed this mysterious purple man. He wanted to blame it on being lost in the moment again, but he knew he wouldn’t hesitate a second time. No, this person, this Tsukiyama Shuu, had made him feel important for the first time he could remember. He’d never felt so wanted by anyone.

Kaneki was lucky to have had such a person.

For the first time, Sasaki almost wished he was him. That horrifying person the others called eyepatch, that sad boy who was neither human nor ghoul, but a half breed. In the very least, he wanted to be Kaneki for Tsukiyama’s sake.


End file.
